Dating a guy who has never had a girlfriend
Clearly, you didn’t even go on a first date with anyone, so what are you basing your critique on?Did you strike up an email correspondence with anyone? Were you proactive in reaching out to those people or did you passively wait to be contacted?
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If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), or submit a question for advice. To the best of my knowledge, no guy has ever been attracted to me.
I am 30 years old, relatively successful in my current career track, intelligent, attractive, easy to talk to, and very friendly. None of my girl friends believe me when I inform them of this fact. I’ve asked them when we’re out with guys if I’m giving off some sort of lesbian or “don’t come near me! I’m very good friends now with someone whom I would love to date, but I’m afraid I’ve already fallen into the “friend zone” with him.
I seem to be able to get along with absolutely everybody and make others feel at ease. I have tried online dating too, by the way, and that didn’t go well.
I try very hard to celebrate my singleness and most of the time I succeed, but with my (younger) sister’s wedding coming up I’m getting just a little bit less celebratory. — 30 and Dateless No, it’s not time to join a convent, but it’s definitely time to adjust your attitude.
It’s great that you think you’re relatively successful, intelligent, attractive, easy to talk to, and very friendly, but why on earth haven’t you extended some of that confidence and positive thinking toward your love life?
And why are you so convinced no guy has ever been attracted to you?
How can you possibly know the thoughts of every guy who has ever laid eyes on you? The truth is, there’s no conceivable way you could have any idea how many men have been attracted to you over the years, and the fact that you think you , leads me to believe you suffer from some sort of extreme “relationship dysmorphic disorder,” a term I totally made up that’s inspired by the definition of “body dysmorphic disorder.” Body dysmorphic disorder is a “psychological disorder in which the affected person is excessively concerned about and preoccupied by a perceived defect in his or her body image.” It’s commonly understood as the disorder in which a person sees something in the mirror that greatly differs from what others see when looking at him or her (imagine a skinny person seeing a fat person in the mirror). I’d also enlist a very good friend or two to be brutally honest with you about how she perceives your search for love.