No cattiness like you find on some women’s forums; no judging; no snipping at each other. Especially since I left my first moms’ group in my area under less than ideal circumstances.Here, at the new one, I thought I’d found kindred spirits, women who discussed mothering, womanhood, and current events not necessarily with eloquent speech, but at least with what appeared to be open minds. Someone commented about “lurkers”, an ever-present danger on any internet forum, but especially troubling if you’re giving away even the tiniest details of your life, your location, your kids.

The moderator stepped in several times, all to her stress and no avail; the site’s rules do not allow her to simply delete a post, unless the user requests it.

So there it sits, ugliness in all its stinky glory, the hate-filled words and derision writhing around in my stomach like a bunch of grubs. However, I enjoy conversing with people who have different views from me, if stated appropriately and not angrily or defensively, because that way I learn things about myself, about other people, and sometimes about how to see the world through someone else’s eyes.

I don’t always gravitate toward like-minded thinkers; while easy, it’s also boring.

I don’t mind people calmly stating their opinion on heated topics like gay rights, abortion, breast feeding, or daycare.

But I truly hate ugliness, and there’s not much in this world that I waste energy hating.

The amount of contempt that was shown for site was completely incomprehensible.

While I have no problem with men joining mom forums, and can even understand the different motives behind such a move, I can also understand that some women might feel intruded upon if, say, men were commenting on breastfeeding or period threads.

So, I recently found my way onto a nation-wide moms board, where right on the front page you can choose your geographical area to connect with local moms. Sure, I can’t go to most playdates, lunch dates, etc.

But I can get to know some women in my area, since all my friends are military and leaving me.